"Barn's burnt down / Now I can see the moon." Mizuta Masahide
Today I am sending healing affirmations to all of those who are suffering from a broken heart. Maybe you are in a marriage or long-term relationship that you feel is unloving, rejecting and disappointing. You might be mourning the end of a romance that didn't last despite your best efforts and hope for a future together. Perhaps you just found out that someone you loved very much is now in a new relationship with someone else.
When your heart is broken, it's so easy to have limited faith in brighter days. The despair may even blind you from seeing and honoring who you really are. I am writing this list of affirmations in the hope that you will repeat these words to yourself. Picture yourself as a small child, and whisper them gently to this younger version yourself when are feeling sad, lonely or defeated. Look in the mirror with determination and certainty and repeat them in celebration, when you are feeling proud of yourself for making it through another day. Allow these 10 mantras to remind you of who you really are. Brighter days are ahead, I promise.
1. I am courageous.
It takes courage to love. Nothing makes us feel more vulnerable, raw, exposed, filled with emotion and often feeling out of control than love. It takes courage to believe in love and to open up to giving and receiving it – again and again and again. Regardless of the pain you are in now, honor your courage and celebrate your heart for being brave enough to love.
2. I trust I can handle whatever lies ahead. When it comes to matters of love, it is inevitable that at some point most of us will have to heal from a broken heart. While the pain of heartbreak is awful, our lives don't have to be consumed inevitably by sadness and anger. You are a whole person, with or without a partner. I know it feels so overwhelming right now. But never stop believing in miracles, magic and new beginnings. Trust that you can handle whatever lies ahead.
3. I never lose by loving.
Barbara DeAngelis once said, “You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” When love is lost, it can be one of the most painful experiences. Working through the pain of unrequited love allows us to learn new things about ourselves and grow. Heartbreak might be the hardest challenge you will ever endure. But once you work through the pain, you'll be stronger and wiser than ever. Being able to love someone is a gift and one of the most wonderful parts of being alive. Once you know how to open your heart and love, you can do it again and again. Never give up or stop believing that love is all around you. You never lose by loving.
4. I am honorable.
When you are heartbroken, it's easy to focus on all the things that you think might be terribly wrong with you. You may stop honoring yourself in the process. Stop giving your power away by being consumed with other people’s (real or imagined) perceptions and judgments of you. I challenge you to shift your focus and think about your choices and actions. Are you being someone of honor? If not, what needs to change? Think of one thing you can do each day that will remind you that you are honorable.
5. I am enough.
In order to heal from heartbreak, we must start to form a strong, loving, secure base of self-worth. The most important relationship to work on is always the one we have with ourselves. I encourage you to look inside yourself for love, support, and acceptance. Consider that when you begin to see yourself as worthy, you may also attract situations, jobs, and relationships that empower you! During your really hard moments, remember that the world needs your unique self and your unique gifts. Try it. Say it out loud. ‘I am enough.’
6. I am accepting.
I'm a big believer that in order to heal, we often need to become BFFs with reality. Knowing and accepting the truth (regardless of how painful it is) will give you space to grieve the past and invest in building a new future. Sometimes acceptance looks like accepting an apology that you will never receive. Other times acceptance looks like trusting that you and your ex just weren't meant to be together forever (regardless of the circumstances that led to your break-up). Research shows that people who are more accepting and compassionate towards themselves, (post-breakup) will accept reality without judgment and with an open heart, experience improved self-worth, increased feelings of joy, and decreased levels of anxiety.
7. I am know how to take care of myself “Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.” ~Max Ehrmann.
You can do this. And you don't have to push away the hurt. Taking care of yourself involves being compassionate, honest, patient and gentle. Taking care of yourself might entail slowing down, listening to your body and giving up stories about how your life is supposed to look. Taking care of yourself doesn't mean figuring it all out. It's about taking it one day at a time. As you take care of yourself reach out to others and get support. You don't have to do it alone.
8. I am getting stronger everyday.
This does not mean that you are recovered from your heartbreak. This does mean that you can pause and acknowledge all of the brave and courageous steps you have taken. Even if you have a long road to go, please don't minimize that every step forward is a victory. You aren't the same person today that you were a month ago. Trust that you are getting stronger everyday!
9. I am protected in ways I can't see.
What if the pain you are feeling now is here to teach you something and is a sign of something better to come? Maybe the formula is simple: Learn.Trust.Love more. Never stop believing that at times we don't have all the information and we are protected in ways we can't see.
10. Crying is so healing, especially when I know why I'm crying.
When was the last time you had a good cry? Don't be afraid to really let it out and allow yourself space to cry. New research even shows that while crying leads to a dip in mood immediately after the crying jag, about 90 minutes later people who cried report feeling even better than they did before they had reason to cry. Yes, crying is therapeutic and will help your body physically calm down after a stressful or emotional ordeal by regulating things like body temperature and blood pressure. Let it out and allow yourself space to cry. And when you are crying make sure to ask yourself why you are upset and then give yourself much love and acceptance. You deserve a release and crying will help.
Can you relate to this post? If yes, please send me an email and let's set up a complimentary phone call.
Sending you peaceful thoughts and wishes for brighter days.