I'm grateful for my anger. You weren't expecting that, were you? But it's very true. Recently, I have been very grateful for my anger.
Anger is certainly something we have a complicated relationship with. Sometimes we want to avoid, deny or yell about it really loud all over social media or at the dinner table. Too often we have witnessed anger expressed in dangerous, frightening and unproductive ways. I do believe we can experience our feelings without being trapped in them or becoming them.
Why am I grateful for my anger? Because my anger allows me to be in touch with reality. When I'm angry I know something important to me is being violated. I would rather face the truth than live in denial about what really matters to me. Anger grounds me and often mobilizes me into action. I believe when handled appropriately wonderful new action steps can be implemented out of being aware of anger.
So yes, please be honest with yourself and if you are feeling angry, FEEL angry. BUT, feeling angry is NEVER EVER a good excuse to act irresponsibly or mistreat yourself or others. We can feel our feelings and still be 100% responsible for our behavior.
If you are feeling angry about Trump, the cold weather arriving, mercury going into retrograde, your boss and/or your ex; allow yourself to feel it all. I fully agree with Rev. Deborah Johnson when she says, "You can't heal what you don't feel. You can't deal with anything that you don't feel."
Below please find tips that allow you to feel your anger and also be responsible for your behavior.
1. Breathe and take an immediate time out!
2. Revisit the situation when you are calmer and write out as many possible solutions as possible in a journal or phone's notes.
3. Use physical activity to get out some of the anger.
4. Know your audience! Ask yourself who would be most appropriate to share with and why.
5. Stick with "I" statements when sharing. Example: “I have been feeling angry.”
Let me know in the comments below any tips that have also helped you.